live from the mall

If I were famous the world over like Dooce or Tootsie or Mrs. G., perhaps my life would consist of moments where people would recognize ME and stop ME to say, "Hey, aren't you that crazy and twisted witty and insightful woman who blogs about her peeing cat?" And, I would be all, "Yes, yes I am." And, they would be all, "Can I have your autograph?" And, I would be all, "Yes, yes you may, and by the way I see you have a camera so just let me put on a little gloss and we'll pose ever so candidly."

However, since that is not so much a part of my world, I obsessively stargaze others stop by the mall when a famous pastry chef appears to support a charity to end hunger. I knew the event would happen in the rotunda, so after parking in my usual Mall of America spot (which you must do or you will lose your car, depend on it), I high tailed it to find a place to stand where I would have a good view. Puddle and her family were already in the building, so I made a quick call to tell them I was positioning myself. I staked out a spot on the 2nd floor railing, just above the table where the World's Largest Cupcake was already on display. I got out my camera, got my bearings and prepared to wait, all the while scanning the area like some kind of crazed predator searching the savanna for a lone gazelle for the Food Network stars.

Soon Puddle, her husband and their adolescent girls joined me. Our location was excellent, perhaps 30 feet above The Cupcake. Not much later, far too unceremoniously I might add, Duff Goldman and his executive sous chef, Geof Manthorne, sauntered out of the makeshift backstage area with a representative from the Guinness Book of World's Records. They assembled around The Cupcake. There was much standing around looking at The Cupcake and discussing what they were seeing. There was a tape measure, and some calculations, some signing of papers, more discussing, possibly some interviewing that we couldn't hear, then even more standing around.

Duff and Geof then picked up and carried the cake to the presentation stage. A crowd of thousands several hundred Food Network groupies fans let out a cheer. Someone yelled, "We love you Charm City!" which made the adorable bakers smile and look toward the 2nd floor railing at the insane middle aged woman in my general direction.

There was a short presentation, during which Sandra Lee of Semi-Homemade fame (who is far too thin to be associated with food, and who the girls and I agreed was wearing hair extensions) and Duff spoke briefly about childhood hunger and Share Our Strength's effort to eliminate it. The Guinness Book representative made his proclamation that, indeed, the cupcake (weighing nearly 62 pounds) was the world's largest. More cheering and Duff pumping his fists toward the sky like a football player, which you have to love because, duh, this is CAKE. Duff then used a creme brulee torch to light the "candle" on top of the cake. Because of the fire extinguisher in his other hand, it came as no surprise when a giant sparkler firework lit up and sent a shower of sparks over the cupcake. If you watch Ace of Cakes, you know that power tools and fire are two of Duff's favorite accessories to cake decorating.

For people who wanted to spend all day waiting for a 10 second opportunity to have Duff autograph something, there were wristbands and lines. I chose to go shopping for hair products and lipstick then get the hell out of the mall. I had seen what I needed to see.

Here are a few photos from the event taken on my tiny digital camera without a telephoto lens. ENJOY!

The backstage glamour of a Mall of America appearance.

From our vantage point you could see The Cupcake, the bakers and all the cameras.

THE CUPCAKE
Food Network stars require much mall security. This sucker doesn't have a clue that he is so close to greatness.
Duff Goldman, the Ace of Cakes.
And, Geoff, the genius behind so much of the Charm City work.
You would only know they are stars because they're wearing chef coats.
Always a perfectionist, Duff removes icing that fell during the measuring of the cake. He put it directly into his mouth, too.
The bakers and their world record setting CUPCAKE
My last shot ... the cupcake onstage ... then my batteries died. A good reason to just watch and enjoy the proceedings ....